Tuesday, May 20, 2014

If You Give a Former Teacher a Preschooler

If you give a former teacher a preschooler...
Chances are she's going to want to teach it...

And if she's going to teach it, she will need to make a curriculum plan.
She'll sit down with a cup of coffee, and start by pinning "The ABCs of How to Home Preschool" (#PNRL)

After getting bogged down by the bajillion preschool ideas on Pinterest, she'll need to take a break.
So she'll print the Homeschool Supply List, and focus on #1. Glue.  She can do glue.

She'll head to the nearest teacher supply store.

She'll probably faint from excitement at all the fresh school supplies and that new pencil smell.
She'll want to fill her cart with teddy bear counters and Do-a-Dot Markers, gallon sized paints and wooden pattern blocks.

When she brings home the new supplies, she'll realize she still needs to pick out the curriculum.
So she'll call her best friend/homeschool guru to ask which is the best.

Then she'll go online to order All About Reading and Handwriting Without Tears.
But they'll take 5-7 business days to arrive.

So she'll wander back onto Pinterest to scope out (read: get lost in) all the best homeschool preschool blogs.
She'll download 227 files in one day.

When the curriculum boxes are delivered, she'll tear through them like it's Christmas morning.
Holding the thick books labeled "Teacher's Manual" in her hands, the clouds will part, the angels will sing, and she'll know... she's arrived.

She'll want to run and put on the apple necklace her husband gave her when she first became a teacher.

On her way to her room she'll notice their tiny home and realize... crafts and sensory play were already starting to take over.
So she'll have to rearrange everything.

Mid-way into dumping the entire hall closet contents into the living room and getting learning materials somewhat situated in their new spots, she'll get inspired to start making the Letter of the Week packets she'd downloaded.

Before you know it, she'll be elbow deep in sheet protectors and low ink warnings, so she'll have to go to Walmart.
When she's at the store, she'll remember what another blogger said about a LAMINATING MACHINE (cue heart skipping a beat).

So she'll ask the store clerk if they carry them.  And if they do...
She'll decide it would be counterintuitive NOT to get one.

She'll probably want to try it out that same night.
"I'll just laminate one thing," she'll think.  "And then I'll go to bed."

But, being the night owl that she is, she'll get a second wind.
She'll need to print, cut, laminate, and cut again--FIVE WHOLE WEEKS of lessons.

She might even Mod Podge letters, hot-glue magnets to pom-poms, hole-punch lacing cards, and make play dough mats.

She'll be so excited that she'll want to set out the "T is for Turtle" activities for her preschooler to try in the morning.
She probably won't realize it's 2am.

After making 14 cute little learning stations, she'll happily step back to take a look.
But her eyes will spot all the laminating scraps, toys that had been left out, and some other things to put away.

She'll intend to do a quick tidy-up, but it will end up being a bit more in-depth.
When she's finally done, she'll feel ready to go to bed.  At 4...30...am.

The next morning, her preschooler will probably climb on her to wake her up at 7am.
She'll need to trudge to the kitchen to pour a cup of coffee.

And chances are, her excited preschooler will jump right in ready to learn...
While she curls up on the couch with her coffee, relishing the joy of seeing her little one learn and grow before her eyes.

And she'll be SO thankful God gave her this little preschooler.